A Journey

I truly don’t know where the time has gone.  My true love has been gone for two months and 10 days - in some ways it seems like yesterday and in others like so long.  It’s still rather surreal.  It’s funny, now that he’s gone, I have begun to see him in each of the children in ways I’d never noticed before.  It’s not funny…it’s a gift!

I guess I should begin with the South Dakota trip.  Oh, my goodness, was that ever fun!  The grandchildren were wonderful and really enjoyed the trip in the motor home.  At night, I would turn on the generator so they could watch TV while I got a shower and went to bed.  I usually took off around 4:30 - 5 am and they would still be asleep.  Robby’s graduation was beautiful and, yes, there were tears especially when they called out his name.  In the interest of time they called out two at a time AND only used their first and last names, so it was that “Travis Hamilton” graduated (his name being Travis Robert - for both grandfathers).  Suzanne’s parents were there also and it was good to see them.  We got to take in the Mammoth Site while we were there and it was fascinating. 

When we returned to Forney, I received the news that Fr. Bob and Deborah had married on our anniversary - that will be an easy one to remember.  Congratulations!  I am so happy for them both.  Nick and I took Meghan and Shenandoah home (in the car) to Bryan and got back on the road to make it home in time for the Spurs game!  They really mopped it up this year!  On the way home from Rapid City we stopped and bought some duct tape and the grandchildren got out and put “GO SPURS GO!” on the back of the motor home.  We had a few travelers in Nebraska, Kansas and Oklahoma to blow the horn and wave.  One man excitedly held up a billfold to the window with SPURS on it!  They all gave thumbs up!  That was fun.

Next was Fathers’ Day and it was a very nice day.  After church we went out to the cemetery, the plaque was up and really looks nice.  We took flowers and then went to Lara’s dad’s grave (also at Ft. Sam) and left flowers there as well.  It was a beautiful day and there were so many people out.  Flags were flying everywhere. 

Lauren’s Meghan has been chosen to be a student at the new Early College High School in Bryan where she will earn 60 college credit hours while in high school.  The children had all gone to stay with their Dad in Del Rio and Meghan needed to take a college placement test in Bryan.  Her grandfather brought her here and I took her on to Bryan on the 19th.  We stayed the night and got her to the Blin College campus the next morning for the 3 hour test.  She did exceptionally well considering she’s only finished the eighth grade.  We then made the trip back to San Antonio and gave her time to play with her little cousins before her dad came to pick her up.  Needless to say, we are very proud of her. 

The next afternoon, June 21, my dear friend Ann Fleming (from Uvalde) came and we stayed the night at the Pear Tree Drury Inn near the airport as we had to be up and at the airport by 4:30 to check in and go through security for our flight to Boston.  It was a nice day for flying and we had a wonderful trip.  We rented a car and drove up to Byfield on Saturday, June 23 to have lunch with the Companions at Adlynrood.  My mother was a very active member of the Society of the Companions of the Holy Cross, an international intercessory prayer group, got me involved back in the early 90’s, and I was asked to read her memorial at the annual meeting.  Again, it was a beautiful day, and we thoroughly enjoyed the time with the Companions.  We had a nice drive back and went to the Parker House Hotel to meet the daughter of Ann’s neighbors in Uvalde, with her new husband, who are currently residing in Boston and had a delightful evening with them.  We went to church at Trinity Church (Episcopal) which is right across the street from the Hancock building.  The church is very old and very beautiful.  The music was lovely and we took a guided tour after the service.  Very interesting!  We had lunch on the square and took a Trolley tour of the city and the water.  On Monday we went to Harvard and did the Fine Arts Museum and the Museum of Natural History.  That was fascinating and we thoroughly enjoyed it.  We had hoped to take in the Boston Pops, but they weren’t scheduled while we were there.  That was disappointing, but we did so much I honestly don’t know how we would have worked it in.  Tuesday we drove up the coast to Salem where we took in the Peabody-Essex Museum, did a tour of historical homes and then went to The House of Seven Gables and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s home.  That was really interesting. On the way back to Boston we stopped at Revere Beach and had a nice seafood supper by the beach and watched the people, the sea gulls and the water.  Back to the hotel to pack and get to bed for another early flight.  We were on the shuttle by 4:20 am where we were told our flight had been cancelled.  Oh, no!  The next 27 hours were interesting and exhausting - to say the least.

First, American told us they couldn’t get us out until Saturday, at the earliest.  I already had plans to be in Forney on Friday to empty the storage unit and pick up the motor home to move it to San Antonio.  So…that wouldn’t work!  The agent finally told us she could put us on the next flight to Laguardia (NY) where we would have an 8-hour layover and take Northwest to Memphis and on in to San Antonio.  We took it!  Then we took advantage of the layover, took a bus in, went upstairs to get the El, and got off 1-1/2 blocks from Ground Zero.  We loved being in St. Paul’s Chapel where they have a daily memorial service with prayers for peace.  After going over and looking at Ground Zero we went back for the service and that was breathtaking.  They have a fireman’s bell and ring it once for the service to start.  Then it is rung in four sets of five in memory of all those who lost their lives.  It’s such a Holy place and it is simply unbelievable that not one window was broken when the Towers fell…as it’s right across the street from where they were.  It was such a privilege to be there and to see all the work going on - even six years later.  It was hard to leave, but we needed to be sure we were back to the airport in time for our flight.  Everyone was so nice…telling us exactly where to get on and off and then watching to be sure that we did it right. 

We made it back in plenty of time and, after going through security, had lunch at Chili’s and headed back to the gate. boarded the plane at 4:10 but did not start backing away from the gate until 4:45 (take-off was supposed to have been at 4:30).  At 8:30 the captain came on and told us we had been cleared for take-off but there was one plane ahead of us.  He began taxiing and about 8:50 told us we would be taking off in about 3 minutes.  Right about 9 pm he made a u-turn and came on the speaker to tell us the flight had been cancelled.  He instructed us to pick up our luggage and go to the ticket counter for other options.  While standing in line we saw on CNN that that day had been the worst in aviation history.  A total of 805 flights had been cancelled.  There were no hotel rooms available.  They had all been taken while we were sitting in the plane.  There were also no rental cars available for anyone that might have wanted to drive to their destination.  Thus began a night of taking the shuttle to different terminals trying to find a way home.  Northwest was already closed so we headed back to USAir to see what they could do for us.  (Fast forward about 8 hours)  After spending most of the night in the American terminal we went back to USAir.  God sent us an angel in the form of an agent.  She said she was sending us to Newark airport, that we were to go out front and look for “Ollie’s Car Service” and he would take us to the Northwest terminal in Newark.  God bless her.  She had gotten us a non-stop flight to San Antonio.  We got on, had some juice and settled in to sleep for the next four hours!

We got in early enough that Ann was able to drive on to Uvalde and I came home to get ready to leave for Forney the next day.  Lauren and Alfredo offered to go help, so I picked them up in Bryan and we worked all day Saturday getting the storage unit cleaned out.  We left Sunday afternoon in a caravan.  I drove the RV, Samie pulled the U-Haul with her truck and Alfredo drove my car so Lauren could ride with me.  Samie, her friend Brook, and I decided to stay the night in Bryan and leave early on Monday.  Lauren decided to come on with us and help with the unloading.  She and the girls did a great job.  We found a new storage place that not only also had RV storage but is a U-Haul place as well.  It’s just a couple blocks from the house - so very convenient.  I’m so glad that’s done.  Monty’s birthday is on the 4th, so I left early to take Lauren back home and was back here by 4 for the celebration.  I also had a wonderful phone visit with a friend, Lisa, whose husband is battling esophageal cancer.  Please keep Lisa and Andy in your prayers as they continue their journey.  Thank you.

Thursday I visited two Grief Support groups and really enjoyed that.  Bill called to tell me he had talked with one of our long-time foster daughters, Laura, and gave me her phone number so I called and had a great visit with her.  We (Monty, Lara, the girls and I) are joining Bill and his family for a family camp at Mustang Island next Thursday.  Bill told Laura we would have lunch with her while we’re there.  It was so good to hear her voice and hear all about her two children.  She sounds wonderful.  I can’t wait to see her.

Today, July 6, is Tori’s 6th birthday.  She is so excited and can’t wait for her party at Chucky Cheese’s tomorrow.  We have had so much rain - I just hope it lets up for party time. 

Early next week I will be going to the VA to get started with the Veterans Cancer Resource Room project.  Several people from the EC-Group have offered their help and I’m really anxious to get it going.  Please keep us in your prayers as we venture forth.  Thank you.

That’s it for now!  I will not wait so long to write again, so it should be much shorter from now on.  God bless you all.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

With much, much love - Ella

It is the last day of May and I am sitting in the motor home in Jamie’s driveway.  Meghan, Lauren’s 14-yr-old daughter, is also going with Samie, Nick and me to Rapid City, SD for Robby’s graduation!  She vacuumed for me and we got it all cleaned up and ready for the trip.  The Inspection sticker had expired in March as had the license sticker.  I had gotten the license sticker when I was here for Samie’s graduation.  And, today I got the inspection sticker, had the tires checked and we are ready to go.  I think they are all as excited as I am.  I know the three male cousins are thrilled that Nick is coming with us girls.

I need to back up to Friday, May 11^th.  My two uncles, in their eighties, flew down from Dallas for the interment service at Ft. Sam Houston National Cemetery.  What a special blessing that was.  Tad was not able to come back for the service, but he made the container (see next paragraph) and we knew he was with us in spirit.  Fr. Chip Prehn, who had the service at St. Luke’s for us, was there for the service at Ft. Sam.  The weather was beautiful and the columbarium is new, made out of stone with marble markers.  Those services are so beautiful with the 21-gun salute and the flag being folded and presented to the family.  Kenneth took pictures and after the service one of them picked up one of the spent shells and put it in the case holding the flag.  Friends that had not been able to come for the earlier service were there and, again, it couldn’t have been any better.

Tad had taken his family back home after the memorial service and made a box for his daddy’s cremains with mahogany that had come from MY daddy’s shop!  It is absolutely beautiful.  It has brass handles on either side with brass hasps for closing the lid.  It even has little locks and keys.  On the front he “drew”, with a drill bit, a family tree with the three limbs on either side representing each of the children.  From each limb there are appropriate numbers of teardrops for each grandchild in each family.  At the end of each limb are two teardrops for each child and their spouse.  At the top is a small branch off to the right with a teardrop for Michael, our adopted son and a branch right out of the top, leaning to the left, with my teardrop.  At the bottom were Travis’ initials, his birth date at top left and death date at top right.  He then wrote a beautiful inscription inside the lid. 

Fr. Chip had suggested to us that we take some of the ashes and scatter them at St. Jude’s.  When I asked the children about that, they all agreed and then Ken decided he wanted some to take to the beach.  Jamie also wanted some to take to the family cemetery in Wanda, Missouri.  So Monty suggested that I get enough containers so that they each could have some.  I found containers on my way to the airport to pick up my uncles.  We had been given a trip to a condo for Christmas and never got to make it.  So, Kenneth and Kimberly decided they would take their children and go right after the service.  He took his daddy’s ashes and scattered them from the deck of the Lexington, a battleship museum in Corpus Christi.  Ken called to tell me about the wind carrying the ashes out in a straight line and then slowly falling onto a school of jelly fish.  He said they seemed to “freeze” for a few minutes and then as the fish swam away they took the ashes with them.  Nick told me about it again yesterday as we were driving to pick up Meghan and Shenandoah, who will be staying with Mac, Jamie and Gracie while we are on our trip to Rapid City and back.

My dear friend, Betty Jacobson, and her husband (who were also friends of my parents) were in Prairie View for the service there and that was SO special.  She is also a member of the Society for the Companions of the Holy Cross (an international intercessory prayer group), of which my mother was a member.  I have been a member here in Texas and when we were in Mississippi.  The retreat center for the Companions is in Byfield, Massachusetts and that is where I will be going on the 22^nd of June to read my sweet mother’s memorial with my dear friend from Uvalde, Ann Fleming.  Neither of my sisters was free to go at that time and I was thrilled when Ann offered to go and suggested we spend a few days “bopping” around Boston.  We are both really looking forward to that.

Monty and his family and I now have reservations to join Bill and his family at Mustang Island July 12-15 and are really looking forward to that.  I have learned, through making the trip to Forney for Samie’s graduation by myself that I do not want to travel alone anymore, at least not for awhile.  That has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do.  The tears were good and healing, but we had spent so much time traveling in the last year, let alone the 45 before, and there are so many happy memories.  We talked about everything while traveling and he would reach over and pat my knee and thank me for doing all the driving.  I kept waiting for that hand and it never came.

I miss him terribly but the children have been keeping me busy so I haven’t had much “alone” time.  I am planning to take advantage of one or more of the grief support groups offered in San Antonio.  I took Mother to one after Daddy died and it was very helpful for both of us.

As for the Veterans Resource Rooms, I am waiting for Dr. Johnson to get back from maternity leave and some time to get together with her.  I have had several offers of help from people connected with the EC Group online and just last night learned about another VA in another state that needs something like this in the worst way.  Please keep it in your prayers.

If you made it this far thank you for spending the time with me and allowing me to ramble.  I have been busy taking care of business, and as many of you know, dealing with the Government is not an easy task, so please pray with me that these things can get done in a timely manner.

God bless you.

Much love to all,  Ella

Oh my goodness – where do I start?  I guess I’ll start with the absolutely beautiful memorial service that we had for Travis on Saturday April 28, 2007 at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in San Antonio.  First, I need to tell you that right after we moved back to San Antonio and had begun our trips to Audie Murphy VA Hospital, Travis said he felt like we had come home.  We did live in this area for twelve years, which was the longest we were ever in one place, and I, too, felt that way about being back.  We had been to Lara’s dad’s service at St. Luke’s with interment at Ft. Sam in December and Travis told me on the way home that that was just what he wanted.  So, we’ve done the first part and will do the second this Friday May 11, 2007 at 2:30 pm.

All of the children had been here with us for his last days and that could not have been more perfect.  All of them got to spend time with him individually as well as two or three at a time and many times it was the whole group.  When we called in Hospice, the nurse that came out for the initial visit was a special friend we had worked with when we were both involved with Hospice in Uvalde.  So, there were no strangers attending to him.  It was all family with Marlo and priests that we knew from St. Luke’s.  It also gave the children time to visit with one another.  We laughed sharing many memories and cried at different times.  It was a beautiful gift from God.  Travis smiled a lot, talked with us as much as possible and even shushed Kenneth’s crying.  He had been taking more and more pain medication, but slowed down dramatically about a week prior to his death.  We were told to give him morphine every several hours to be sure he was comfortable.  He began to dig it out with his tongue, from under his tongue, and deposit it on his bottom lip.  He would then give us a look as if to say he was still in charge.  He did not seem to be in any pain the last few days.

Tad left on Wednesday to go home and get his family and they got back on Saturday around Noon.  My younger brother and sister arrived on Friday and my older brother and sister arrived with their spouses on Saturday.  When we arrived at the church, I was hugging someone in the narthex when I looked over their shoulder and saw a very dear friend from Good Shepherd, our church home in Terrell.  I was so surprised to see her and she told me she had come with Fr. Bob.  When I looked over toward the parlor there he was – vested – ready to assist with the service.  What a wonderful surprise.  I knew Travis must be smiling.  Even our son, Jamie, who is also a member of that parish, did not know he was coming.  He and Deborah, the friend who was with him, are to be married next month.

Travis loved to hear the organ at St. Luke’s and the music was just as he had wanted it, even to our grandson, Nick, playing his guitar during Communion.  Deborah did all the scripture readings and it just made it perfect to have them a part of the service.

Kenneth read a poem he had written while sitting on his patio early the morning after his daddy died. 
                                                      Fly Away

My fathers passing was the end of a heartbeat that as a child I imagined could never falter or fall, a heartbeat and a life so strong that today it lives on and I see it in us all.

His life was filled with the sound of his children’s laughter and pain, each child of his six a new memory, fresh steps, his life’s gains. 

He was a strong man, a good man, a man of quiet reason.  A man whose life was not always easy but somehow he managed every season.   John Wayne was my dad’s hero; a man of honor, bravery and wisdom, a man beyond reproach, but in my minds eyes my dad’s stature even John Wayne could notapproach.

I am so sad at his passing, the tremendous sense of loss, but my father would not have tears from me, he quieted me, he had reached the journeys end he sought.

And so I grieve that he is gone from here.  I hope to see him once again when I am free of these, my living years.

Hold on to one another, for it is in family now we find those things that even in time of great sadness, lifts our hearts and lets them sing.

“Like a bird I sing because you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings – fly Away.”

Coming out of the church I was greeted by two huge collages – one centering on Travis’ life from childhood right up to weeks before he died and the other of our lives together with our wedding picture at the center.  I had known the kids were doing something with pictures – Bill was selecting and Kenneth’s wife, Kimberly, was putting it together.  They are absolutely wonderful.  I just wish there were a way you could all see them.

We had a reception in the parlor and then all the family headed out to Kenneth’s to just be together.  Kenneth’s father-in-law is a professional photographer and came over to take pictures as this was the first time we had had ALL the children and spouses and ALL fifteen grandchildren together at one time.  We got some wonderful pictures: all the grandchildren, all the grandchildren with me, all six children with me, all the children and spouses and grandchildren with me, my two younger siblings with me, then each separate family.  What a gift!  All the pictures turned out exceptionally well.  I’ll have to get Bill to post some of them as I haven’t figured out how to do that yet. After picture-taking, most of the grandchildren were out in the street with their uncles and great uncle playing football.  Everyone enjoyed being together and, again, I know Travis was smiling.

We had not received the cremains prior to the service as Friday had been a holiday.  Monty and I picked them up on Tuesday and we had them to take with us to Prairie View this past Saturday for a memorial service with our friends there, as that was our home church for the last eight months prior to our moving back to San Antonio.  Travis and I both loved our time there.  Our daughter, Lauren, who was there with her family, said she wished she could find a church like that in Bryan.  Most of our children had other things going on, but Jamie rode his motorcycle down from Forney and I took Tori and Nicole, Monty and Lara’s 3 and 5-year-old daughters, with me.  Again, it was a beautiful service and just what he wanted. 

Interment is scheduled for this Friday at 2:30 pm and it will be wonderful seeing more friends and family who weren’t able to make either of the other services.  I love all the hugs. 

For now, Monty’s home will be my home base.  My Florida sister-in-law is coming in on Wednesday May 16.  I will take her to the airport on Saturday May 19 and head for Forney as Samie’s graduation is on Sunday evening.  Nick’s 17 birthday will be here in San Antonio on the 25 and I’m really looking forward to that as it’s traditionally a crawfish bake/boil.  Nick and Samie will then join me for the trek to Rapid City, SD for Robby’s graduation.  We were all hoping Jordan could also go with us, but the graduation is the same day as her little sister’s birthday.  I then head for Massachusetts to read my mother’s memorial at the Annual Meeting of the Society of the Companions of the Holy Cross June 24-26, and I’m hoping my sisters will be able to join me for that.  Monty and Tori’s birthdays are July 4 and 6 and we may be joining Bill’s family for a Family Church Camp in July.  Whew!

Well, I’ve rambled on and on, but wanted to bring you up-to-date.  It’s been quite a journey with the end being better than anyone could have ordered.  It was SO peaceful.  I think the whole family has experienced that “Peace that passes all understanding.”  God bless you and thank you for allowing me to share our journey with you.

This website will stay open as I plan to share with you as we work on establishing the Veterans Cancer Resource Rooms and working with the Esophageal Cancer Awareness Association to educate people about this beast.  Tonight I watched part of the “Living with Cancer” program and that just made me even more determined to get this info out and start saving lives.  Everybody knows about breast, colon, prostate, lung and kidney cancers, but hardly anyone has heard of EC.  Many of the symptoms are similar to others and we want to be sure that ALL doctors do endoscopies at the same time they are testing for other diseases and then start treatment immediately.  It is a very aggressive disease and we’ve got to stop wasting precious time.

Much love to all,  Ella

It is with great sadness that I let you know this “Journey” has come to an end.  Travis went to be with the Lord Wednesday afternoon, April 25, 2007.  As you know from my most recent posts, the last five days have been all about FAMILY!  It was glorious.  Yes, there were many tears, but there were also many happy moments.  We all had fun reminiscing, sharing, singing, laughing with the grandchildren, hugging, and simply “being together.”  My darling Travis was smothered with love.  He must have heard, “I love you, Daddy,” 600 times or more.

It was a beautiful day.  Fr. Malcolm had come by and we had Communion around his bed.  Father put a tiny piece of bread in his mouth and Monty put his finger in the wine and dropped it on his tongue.  It was probably less than an hour after Father left and the social worker for Hospice came by.  We signed the DNR form telling her we really didn’t need it, saw her to the door and when we got back to the room, Bill pointed out that his breathing was slowing down.  It was SO peaceful in the room and he looked so peaceful.  Just before he took his last breath he gave us all a huge, beautiful smile. 

Today was spent taking care of business.  We are going to create, with the oncologist, a Cancer Resource Room for Veterans in Travis’ honor.  Our dream was for all veterans who get that dreaded diagnosis of cancer to be handed a packet of information at the time of diagnosis and not have to go search for things themselves.  The American Cancer Society was NO help with our questions with regard to esophageal cancer.  They could not help us find support groups nor point us in the right direction to find that info.  The oncologist loved our dream and suggested that upon diagnosis their first prescription would be to visit the Resource Room and get an interactive CDrom for their particular kind of cancer.  They would also receive the CURE Resource Guide and have a subscription to the CURE magazine entered in their name.  They would be given all options for treatment, side effects, etc. so they could then make knowledgeable decisions.

All that being said; after a visit to the funeral home, Monty and I headed for the bank to set up an account for the Veterans Cancer Resource Room Fund.  Then we headed to the newspaper to get the obituary in with the information that “in lieu of flowers the family requests memorial contributions be made to the Fund at Wells Fargo Bank, 246 E. Commerce St., San Antonio, TX 78205 – Account # 9941389836.  I also sent a copy of the obituary to our friends the Caplans to get it put in the Alexandria Daily Town Talk in Travis’ hometown.

We finished the day with a visit to the church to sit down with Fr. Prehn and plan the service for Saturday.  The memorial service will be held at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in San Antonio at 4 PM on Saturday April 28, 2007.  Interment will be at Ft. Sam Houston National Cemetery at a later date.  Then we will be having a memorial service at St. Francis of Assisi Episcopal Church in Prairie View, TX on Saturday May 5 with all the friends we worshipped with for the last eight months prior to moving to San Antonio.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.  Tomorrow I will share with you a  poem Kenneth wrote while sitting on his patio early this morning.  It is absolutely beautiful.  God bless you all.

The children all join me in sending much love,  Ella

This really hasn’t seemed like Sunday since we didn’t go to church.  We’ve had a wonderful weekend as most of our children and grandchildren have been here and our oldest son, Tad, arrived late this morning!  Yeah!  It’s so good to see him.  He looks wonderful though tired.  He drove from Rapid City to Denver to get on a plane, but hit really bad traffic north of Denver and would not have had time to park, walk to the terminal, go through security and make the flight on time.  So he drove straight through.  Rapid to Denver was six hours and on to San Antonio was another 15-1/2 hours.  Praise God for a safe trip.

Travis had a good night, but is really beginning to shut down.  He’s not needed a lot of pain medicine and the children have all had time with him today.  Fr. Chip Prehn is coming out with Communion in the morning and I have an appointment with the oncologist at 2.  We had a planned family meeting but things have gone down so quickly this week that I just told the doctor on Friday afternoon that we weren’t going to try and do that.  She asked if I would keep the appointment time to come in and let her explain the PetScan and to answer any questions I might have at this point. 

We have much to take care of this week and I’m glad to have the extra children here to help me with it.  It has been such a blessing watching the grandchildren all enjoy one another, and they have behaved exceptionally well.  The children have also enjoyed the time together.  Monty had cleaned the pool in anticipation of hot enough weather that it could be used.  But, very little sun was seen yesterday and we also had a cool breeze.  Of course, the pool (though covered with a safety net) is such a temptation that they were managing to get a little wet and then wanting to change clothes.  Aunt Lara decided all should just go ahead and put on suits.  Then Tori decided they should set up the Slip’n’Slide, which they did, and they all shivered and refused to admit they were cold.  But what fun they had.  While the younger children enjoyed the outside, Nick, the almost 16-yr-old sat and played classical music on his guitar for his PawPaw.  Then he joined me at the piano and we had fun playing Christian music.

All in all, it’s been a great weekend.  Thank you, again, for your prayers.  We really feel them.  I know that’s why there’s such a beautiful feeling of Peace surrounding this time.  Yes, it’s that Peace that passes all understanding.  Thank you, Lord.

In His Name,  Ella

P.S.  I got an e-mail from my sister this morning saying that the e-mail about the child being run over was a hoax.  Praise God.  She said there was a story about a child being run over by a U-Haul truck and perhaps the stories had gotten intertwined on the internet.  I do know the person that sent it to me felt her son had gotten it from a reliable source, so I’m sure our prayers weren’t wasted.  I pray you all have an absolutely GLORIOUS day!   E.

What a busy day!  There were many phone calls in the morning – TeleCare at the VA, the oncologist, the Home Health/Hospice Director from the VA, the Christus Santa Rosa Hospice director, etc. but the best thing of the morning was when the Hospice director told me who our nurse would be.  She said, “Her name is Marlo..”  I then asked her if Marlo had been with Hospice in Uvalde.  Yes, she had.  This is the same Marlo who was DON of Hospice when I served as President of the Hospice volunteers.  Thank you, Jesus.  Marlo is a LOVE, a wonderful nurse, a true gift to those she serves and now a part of our lives once more.

Lara, our daughter-in-law, had been to the doctor yesterday to see why she was having a belly ache and they had called this morning to tell her that the test results were back.  She has a ruptured cyst on an ovary and they wanted her to go for a CTscan to check it out further.  Our daughter, Lauren, arrived from Bryan with her three children while Marlo was here to fill out the paperwork and check Travis’ vitals.  Lara got a call back and they wanted her to come on in for the scan.  She was already in the process of cooking for tonight and tomorrow.  Travis was asleep on the couch so she told me what needed to be done and I worked on the food while Lauren’s 14-yr-old watched the other four children in the backyard.

While I was working in the kitchen, the delivery man arrived with the hospital bed and other supplies.  The children all behaved beautifully, Lara and Lauren returned and she will see the doctor next week to decide what needs to be done, Monty got home from work, we had supper and Monty helped Travis get settled in the new bed.  We are now waiting for Jamie and his family to arrive. 

I had an additional blessing of calls from two of my siblings and also talked briefly with my Australian sister-in-law.  She and my younger brother were in Chicago for a Trade Show and to meet her son’s future in-laws.  Travis also got a call from his “first best friend” in Louisiana.  I put it on speakerphone and that way the four of us got to visit.  What a treat!

In last night’s post I mentioned traveling maybe not being a part of God’s plan, but my friend, Marlo, says we should absolutely plan to go to both graduations – that they will make sure we have all meds, oxygen, emergency phone numbers for each place we’ll be, contacts for other Hospice offices, etc.  So, pray with us as we plan to make this trip from San Antonio to Forney and on to Rapid City.

Now, the MOST exciting thing is that we’ll have all six of our children together tomorrow!  Yes, Tad is coming in and his Daddy is SO excited. 

I must go to bed as it’s almost Midnight and I sure need my beauty rest for all my children.  God bless you all.

Much love, Ella

We are simply heartbroken over the horrendous tragedy at Virginia Tech this week.  We were at the VA most of Monday afternoon and all day Tuesday so were seeing most of the updates on TV.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the students, faculty and families of the victims.  I got an e-mail today asking for prayers, especially for a Bare family, who lost their daughter in the tragedy at Tech and, in their haste to get to Virginia, ran over their 8-yr-old daughter who also died.  The mother is still in the hospital under sedation and the father is in a daze just staring at the wall.  More tragic heartbreak.

I have written at least four lengthy posts to update this site and every time I hit “SAVE and continue editing” I would get a page with the message “this page cannot be displayed”, go “back” and get another page saying the same thing and realize that my message was lost forever in cyberspace.  The last time it happened I almost cried.  But, that’s why I’m typing this in Word and will cut and paste to ensure your getting an update. 

Since my last post, we have been back to Houston for three days, met with both new oncologists and a new PCP (primary care physician) here in San Antonio, had labs several times, gone to the Texas Cancer Clinic for a PetCTscan and received two more units of blood.
 
He needed two units of blood and due to his age it took most of the day on Tuesday.  Nicole (Monty’s 3-yr-old) decided to go with us to keep us company.  She was a “gift” to everyone in that hospital.  She smiled and chatted with all and decided her “job” was to entertain.  The last hour we had to stay in the waiting room and there was a woman whose husband was not doing well with chemo.  Nicole danced, sang, told stories, and then asked was there anything else she could do for us.  On the way home she said, “Gramma, we sure had fun today.” 

We also received the results of the scan on Tuesday and it is not good news.  Besides the fact that Travis is now weighing around 150, only eating about 3 or 4 tablespoons of food daily and staying in bed or lying on the couch, he also now has mets (metastases) to the liver and sacrum (tailbone).  There is nothing more they can do as far as treatment goes as he just is not strong enough.

Five of the children will be here this weekend and Tad will be coming in from South Dakota sometime next week.  Hospice is scheduled to start coming tomorrow.  Travis is so very tired and the fight just seems to be gone.  It is great to be here with Monty and his family and with Ken and Bill and their families close by.  Kenneth went with us to the hospital on Monday and it was great to have someone else pushing the wheelchair.  Yes, we put up the walker this week also.  He only takes a few very short steps with help.

Our oldest grandchildren are both graduating from high school this year.  Robby, ten days older than Samie, will graduate in Rapid City, SD on June 3.  Samie will graduate in Forney, TX on May 20.  And, our 46^th anniversary is on May 27^th.  We had hoped to make both graduations and celebrate the anniversary somewhere between, but, except for a miracle, that doesn’t seem to be a part of God’s plan.

It’s very late and I really must get to bed.  I do plan to post daily now that Hospice will be helping and I’ll have some time when others will be caring for him.  Thank you again for your prayers.  God bless you.

Much love, Ella
 

We did get to come home last Monday and the GOOD news was - his blood count was perfect AND the creatinine level was too!  One of the docs in Houston had said that the chemo had done irreparable damage to his kidneys, but he evidently didn’t know that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!  I just cannot thank you enough for all your prayers.

It’s been a great week.  We came home with directions to puree ALL his food.  Tuesday morning I pureed scrambled eggs, pancakes and syrup.  And, he actually ate it and said it was good!  I read on the EC Group about one of the spouses who pureed a MacDonald’s hamburger and fries.  Her husband said it was fine as long as he kept his eyes closed while eating it.  Whatever works…right?  Anyway, he decided it was easier to put his teeth in and chew, chew, chew!  So far that’s been working pretty well. 

Our grandson, Nick, had a choir concert on Friday and WOW, was I impressed.  Nick is in the Madrigal Choir, Varsity Men’s Choir and the Mixed Varsity Choir.  He played the guitar for their performance of “Be Thou My Vision” and it was beautiful.  Jamie and Mac came down on Friday night and Bill came over with his three on Saturday, so it was a fun weekend.  By Sunday, everybody was pooped and Tori had a fever, so I was the only one to make it to church.  It was a beautiful service, but sad, as it was the rector’s last celebration.  The music was glorious and they had a very nice reception following the service.

Travis has done real well all week, not requiring nearly as much pain medicine - so much so, that we even forgot to change his pain patch.  We seem to have gotten the constipation under control.  Yeah!  We go for labs and to meet the new Oncologist today so will report back this evening.

Thanks again for your prayers, cards, e-mails and phone calls.  It all means so much.  We pray you all have a GLORIOUS day.  God bless you.

With much love,  Ella

We did get moved from Forney last Saturday and Travis made the trip well.  We are pretty much settled now, except for a few major things I forgot - like a 30″ laundry basket with clean clothes, ALL our underwear [minus what we were wearing ], sheets, etc.  Thank God for stores nearby - a quick remedy.  Monty built us a beautiful room with a big walk-in closet - made us feel so WELCOME!  And, Jamie and Mac brought our bed, the music cabinet and the oxygen concentrator.  Monty’s girls really had fun playing with Mac.  It is wonderful to feel somewhat “settled” again.

We were, unfortunately, re-introduced to the San Antonio VA hospital on Wednesday afternoon.  The pain meds have caused constipation and Travis became impacted.  He was also extremely pale.  So…we went in and they decided he should stay.  They started tackling the immediate problem.  Got that taken care of by Wednesday night and his red blood count was so low they then had to give him two units of blood.  By the time I got back over there on Thursday morning, he looked like a different man.  He was sitting up, smiling, had all his color back and was rehydrated so looked as though he didn’t belong there.  He had a good day all day, but when the GI docs came in they decided they needed to do another upper endoscopy to see what was going on and if they could find any active bleeding.  They scheduled that for yesterday (Friday) morning and found the stent still open but with food stuck in it, a good bit of food in the stomach and a case of esophagitis in the upper esophagus.  No active bleeding!  So, he is being fed by IV this weekend and they will go back in on Monday with a lower endoscopy.  He slept most of the rest of the day as they had given him more pain meds for the esophagitis.  Bill came over for a visit from Kerrville and it was so good to see him.

Thursday afternoon, I had errands to run, so Travis told me to go on - that he was fine, so I got to play Gramma.  Ken’s son, Nick, had had knee surgery the week before and was bored since he couldn’t really “DO” anything for Spring Break.  I picked him up and we went for lunch then came by here so he could see our room and the girls’ two-story playhouse in the backyard.  While we were here, Lara came back from a doctor visit feeling terrible, so we took the girls with us.  Nick stayed in the car with the girls while I did my errands and entertained themselves by taking pictures with Travis’ upgrade cell phone.  We topped off the afternoon with a visit to Baskin-Robbins and by the time we took Nick home, Ken and Kim were there and said they’d feed the girls while I went back up to see Travis.  One of Kimberly’s little nieces was there and they had so much fun.  Oh, my goodness, it is SO good to be near so many of the children.  We had a wonderful four days at Jamie’s before going back to Houston for appointments and then went back to Forney another four days before making the move.

Travis decided yesterday that he wanted to transfer all his care over here.  Thank God!  We had excellent care and loved the doctors and nurses in Houston, but he loves being near so many of the children (as do I), so it looks as though we’ll be “planted” here for awhile.  Praise God!  Yesterday was also special because I talked with all four of my siblings - on the same day!  What a Blessing!

I need to get my shower and be on my way, so I’ll be back with you Monday after we know more.  Thanks again for all your prayers, phone calls, e-mails, etc.  That’s what keeps us going.

Much love to all - Ella

“This is the day the Lord has made, let us REJOICE and be glad in it!”  We are back in Houston - since Thursday.  Last Sunday after church Lauren and her family went with us to take the RV back to Jamie’s.  It was a beautiful day for traveling.  Travis really enjoyed the trip and I hope we can take some more in the next few months. 

We see the oncologist on Monday and are hoping to get some answers.  He is still having quite a bit of pain, and the doctor had told us he would be feeling alot better in 3 or 4 days after completing treatment.  The good news is that the nausea is gone.  He still doesn’t have his usual appetite so is back to a 34″ waist.  According to our “new friends” on the EC Digest this is common for those having surgery.  There are only a few, like Travis, that are not able, for one reason or another, to have any of the usual surgeries.  Some elect not to have surgery.  That seems to be so permanent and without an esophagus most of them have to go back in fairly frequently for dilation. 

We do have an option to enter into one of the trial studies.  Several of those on the Digest have taken part in these and feel that is the reason they are “survivors”.  There is one being done in San Antonio that he would possibly qualify for, so we’re going to look into that this week.  An encouraging note on the Digest yesterday was the results, so far, of one being done here at M. D. Anderson.  According to that study, those that have both types of treatment, concurrently, have a longer survival rate.  And, of course, there are some that have survived 5+ years.  The consensus is that the bad thing about this disease is that it is usually so advanced by the time you begin having symptoms, and if the doctor isn’t suspicious of EC, there can be a delay in starting treatment.

We hope you are all staying well.  So many people have been hit by the flu.  Ken, Nick and Alyssa have all had it.  Jamie was out all last week with what they thought was the flu and an allergic reaction to something they gave him in the ER.  Now they’re saying it isn’t and he will be seeing the family doctor and an allergist this week.  Monty told us last night that Tori has it but, thankfully, it’s a light case.  Their back neighbor (and Tori’s best friend) had it so they’re pretty sure that’s where she picked it up.

We have a busy week ahead as we will be going back to Forney when we finish here.  I need to go through the storage unit, get rid of more things, decide what stays in the RV and head to San Antonio.  Travis keeps apologizing for not being able to help.  He’ll say, “WE need to… ” and then stops and says “I’m so sorry I’m not much help.”  That way he IS a help as he reminds me what I need to do. 

So, unless there’s a change in the game plan after we see the oncologist tomorrow, I’ll probably not post again until we’re in San Antonio.  Thank you, again, for all your prayers.  They really do make a difference, AND…we feel them.  It’s a very comforting feeling to feel “covered” at all times.  God is good. 

Until next time…MUCH LOVE,  E and T